What is love? Today our society emphasizes the idea that love is feeling. Disney’s princess movies drive home this concept as the prince and princess see each other across the room, the birds sing, the music plays, and we conclude that they are in love. However, one must not live long to realize that these stories are aptly labeled fairy tales. Unfortunately, our society buys into this feeling concept more subtly. We speak of people falling in and out of love. As long as I get warm fuzzy feelings when I think of the person I love, I love them back. When that stops, the love is gone.

However, God points to a better way. In 1 John 3:15-24, the Apostle John informs us that love is more than a feeling. It is an action. Love sacrifices for others. Further, true love for others marks genuine Christians. Christ’s message is that we should love one another. John then informs us of the characteristics of Biblical love. Over the next few weeks, we will examine these characteristics of Biblical love found here in 1 John 3.

First, John informs us that love is not selfish. This concept is a concept that flies in the face of how our culture defines love. Today, culture tells us that love is a feeling. You fall in love, and you fall out of love. The relationships you enter into are about your fulfillment. They must meet your needs and desires. And you simply leave the relationship if they are not doing it for you. Love is a chemical reaction in your biology that results in wonderful feelings. But, biblically, love is defined very differently. John begins by illustrating that our view of love is skewed so that we define as love something very different, hate.

John takes us back to Genesis 4 and the narrative of Cain and Abel. The narrative of Cain and Abel provides us with the heart issues behind true Christian love. Cain and Abel brought their sacrifices to God. God accepted Abel’s sacrifice but rejected Cain’s. Abel’s righteous acts provoked Cain’s jealousy, which strayed into hatred and eventually murder. Abel no longer brought Cain the joy he desired, and so Cain ceased to “love” Abel. Cain’s relationship with Abel grew out of a desire for others to meet his own needs. Hate is inherently selfish. Love is inherently selfless.

Yet today, we define love as the feelings we get when someone makes us feel good. We confuse love with lust. Love gives, lust takes. This idea takes us back to 1 John 2:15-17, where we discover that the world’s system centers on lust: the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. James 4 tells us that selfish lust is the source of all conflict. Sinful conflict ensues when someone is not getting what they want or think they deserve. However, the selfish fulfillment of one’s desires is not love but hate.

There are several essential applications we ought to note. Biblical love should mark our speech. We often ridicule, mock, or demean others that don’t meet the standards we set for them. They disappoint us, so we respond with hateful speech. Biblical love should mark our familial relationships. Too many marriages fail because the individuals seek their own pleasure rather than their spouses’ pleasure. We become short-tempered, angry, and demanding when our spouse fails to follow our desire or plan. However, God calls us to serve and sacrifice for our spouse. Often parents damage their children because they respond with anger when the child inconveniences them. Finally, Biblical love should mark the church. Too many follow today’s trend and view the church as a consumer product. We falsely believe that the church exists to meet my needs and provide a way for me to gain notoriety. Yet, God calls us to serve one another in the church without thinking of return. Christ informs us that if we do acts of service so that others will notice, that is all the reward we will get. Don’t come to church seeking what you can get out of it. Instead, come to church seeking what you can put into it. Christians, don’t love like Cain, love like Christ!